Help Me
by WCDragonS.F.EVER
Summary: How someone so sweet and so innocent turned so dark and dark thoughted all in due time. So please Help Me...
1. Chapter 1

It all started once i moved here, Mongolia, that my life changed. Not sure if its for better or worse...

I was in elementary school... 5th grade... new student... nobody seemed to like me. I would follow the group... they were the 'popular' people. They never really acknowledged i was there. Always glancing at me saying few words, like "hi" or "do ypu want any snacks?" I always refused.

I was a slow runner back then so when we would go out to recess i would be the last one there. We had this game called '50 States' you would draw a huge picture of the United States, then u had to pick a state to be your safe zone. I was always the one to get to the safe zone.

I never really knew bac then that they didn't like me until it was the end of the year. One day i tested them. We had a tree and around the tree were benches. I sat on one of the benches all recess to see if they wanted me to play with them. They Never once glanced in my direction.

The kids in my class would take my things, tell me i was copying them and i was a loser. I never listened to them I would help out n the library sometimes and they said i couldnt anymore because she doesnt like new people in her library. I was always left out of conversations, i tried to talk but they would ignore me.

I was forced to stay with them though, i had no friends. I would purposely sit at the detention table so nobody knew i was a loner. Then there came HIM. he was like everything. Funny, cute, nice, he always wanted to be around me. I started to like him but that was only after school. We would walk home together because he had to walk the sidewalk i walked to get home. His little sister seemed like she adored me. I loved it. My life started to get better! I was happy!

Then summer break came. I was homeschooled half of 6th grade i felt lonley i had no friends again. Homeschool had a chat box were you could talk to your classmates i loved it. Thats what got my hooked on mmorpg games. I had so many friends who loved me! Then my older brother found out that i played them. So he told my mom who banned me from playing them. Of course i played them secretly i had to i had friends there who liked me. I couldn't just stop.


	2. Middle school 6th grade

**I know you might be thinking 'This has nothing to do with Levy!' And believe me when i say it doesnt... but bear with me will you?**

 **I didnt do this last chapter but WCDragonS. does not own Fairy Tail.**

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As i said before i was homeschooled after 5th grade for part of 6th grade. Going into Middle School was rough for me. I was the new student again, and knowing what happened in 5th grade i really didnt want that to happen again, to be so lonley wasnt something i was a big fan of. But i had to do it. It was killing me to be cooped up in my house all day no where to go.

To say i was nervous for my first day of school was an understatement. I was having a complete panic attack. My heart was racing litterly every second the whole day. My eyes had fear written all over them, my whole body was shaking so violently you could've believed that an earthquake was happening. Now lets get this straight, it wasnt the classes i feared. Oh no... it was the students. But being me back then i just blamed it on my shyness.

I wasnt there for the orientation so I had no _clue_ where my classes were. I was to stupid to look at the numbers of the door. I knew they were there but i didnt acknowledge them, i just wanted to get to class on time. I was so proud of my self, still am to this day, i had asked someone for directions! I didnt even stutter! They gave me a map but i didnt use it, it was waaay to confusing for me because i was just a lonley, stupid ass person who didnt have the right to live. But.. of course... being me, again, i didnt realize it at the time... but thats a different story. No one really acknowledged me im my classes it was my third period that really startled me.

As i was walking in the classroom palms all sweaty, adrenaline filling up evey space in my body, dread dripping down from my head. I swear i almost passed out when a kid in my class shouted 'new student' because every. single. pair of eyes in that classroom stared at me. I just stood there awkwardly with a red face until the teacher told this kid to move so i could sit there i swear ot looked like my face was about to explode because it got even redder.

My group were the nicest girls. I never really talked to them l just liked to watch them talk. But sometimes they would ask me questions like 'where are you from' i always said my birthplace because i was to stupid to understand. I absolutely loved the teacher. She was so awesome. But anyways after class it was break i didnt know what to do so i just followed them. Typical Levy, very typical of you. I had a snack but i didnt eat it. I dont eat infront of new people...no... its not that i choose to... im just not hungry. It was very uneventful at break. I felt like i did in elementary. Lonley, people ignoring me, never giving me a second glance.

I wasnt until a few days later that i got friends. I was overwhelmed! I had friends and they didnt care what i looked like or how i acted! They were a bunch of weridos... by they were MY weridos. I loved them i really did. Then shit stared to happen. I had a friend and she would always get into fights. I never payed them any attention, that is... until one day it was at the end of the school year and she got into a fight.

I was there and i was part of it. I never knew what came over me but i screamed at her to just sut the fuck up and stop. I dont remember it clearly but i was her fault that one of my other friends hated me i rember telling her boyfriend that he only liked her because of her boobs. The bell rang after i said that and i walked away. The next day she completely ignored me. I never hung out with them that month. Until my ex boyfriend( we still liked each other) said that everyone missed me. I was so happy but i didnt let it show. I still never came and i contemplated his words. Over and over again.

I finally went and as usual nobody really paid me any attention. So i just stood there... as usual... but i was happy to do that. Then i felt arms around me from behind and it was the friend that hated me. We made up and i dont remember what happened after that.

You might be wondering why im even telling you this. I honestly dont know either. But not even my parents knew about this. Nobody. I guess... its because ill never know who reads this and you dont really know me... well... you will after i finish this.


	3. Chapter 3

8Th grade started i was nervous as fuck because of the way I left things. My ex boyfriend now we started dating again at the end of 7th grade and throughout summer break. Few weeks after school started i broke up with him again. I realized that i didnt diserve him. I was a disgusting, weak, bitchy, complained alot, annoying, ugly, a stupid ass, and a burden. Who would like me? I got asked by one of my friend why i broke up with him. I lied. I said he got to clingy... What a lame ass excuse for a lame ass person.

I enjoyed 8th grade. I really did. But i kept a secret. Ive never really told anyone and if anyone on this site reconizes my story and know me then tell everyone you know. I never told anyone this... secret even now. They didnt know. They said i was more depressed at the end of school. Oh they still dont know how right they are.

The only memories i really have of 8th grade is school. My teachers. Specifically my science and math teacher. I had fun in those classes you know? My friends were in that class... the teachers were nice and liked me. Even thou in both of the classes i hated who i got paired up with. I didnt really make any friends in my math class. Only the teacher i liked and this kid i had a crush on since 5th grade.

I hated myself. I really did. my friends kept telling me that i was pretty but i never thought that. I knew they were lying everyone was. I was this ugly peice of shit that didnt diserve anything. I tried to keep myself distant from them but i couldnt bring myself to do it. I didnt want to be alone. I was afriad of being alone.

I told myself i wouldnt do it but i did. As they say 'the first cut it the deepest' no one found out. I was kinda disappointed. I wanted someone to know. I wanted to feel cared. Even though i have so many friends surrounding me i always felt alone. I even made up a person who i believed would come for me. But no i think back on it all it seems stupid. I seemed like this stupid ass person.

* * *

"Levy your writing a novel to?!"

"Ah! Lu-chan! Dont sneak up on me like that!"

"Oh! Gomen Levy... can i read it?!"

"U-um... Gomen Lucy... but maybe someday... just ... not right now. Gomen..."

"Ehh? Its fine Levy just let me know when i can!"

"Hai"

"Natsu! Dont tell people that!"

Ah. She left. They always do. Someday they will. And that day ill let the whole guild read it.

"Yo shrimp what wrong?"

"G-GAJEEL! Dont sneak up on people who are thinking!"

"What are you talkin bout? I was ere the whole time! Watta writtin?"

"N-nothing! Go away!"

"Ehh?"

"No! Gajeel give it back! Dont read it! Your not alowed yet!"

"Gihi"

"GAJEEL GIVE IT BACK!"

"... damn shrimp wasnt really gonna to read it. No need to cry..."

Thats right. Im weak so cant do anything except cry.

" Gajeel. You dare make a precious nakama of our guild cry?"

Erza... you have no idea how i really am... if you knew would i still be precious to you?

"W-wait Erza... it wasnt his fault.. i shouldve been stronger to protect myself."

"Levy... you are strong though."

No.. dont do it please...

"Keh. Is that why im always saved by Gajeel or my team mates?"

Stop it...

"Ah... Gomen... im just tired. Ill head home now."

"Let me walk you."

"No! Ah..um... no.. you dont need to. Thanks for the offer Gajeel."

What have i done? Im doing it again... i cant help myself but i dont want to be alone anymore...


	4. AN VEERRRYYY IMPORTANT

Helloooo everybody! let me tell you about homestuck... joking! i've just really wanted to do that... anyways! I have a Poll going on my profile id like all you reader to visit and vote. I really need to know which Fanfiction i should update next and if you have any suggestions... _**ANY**_ please please PLEASE PM me about it! i know that i haven't really updated in MONTHS and i feel really sorry about it i do. My fanfictions are my babies and it hurts me to neglect them! I'm not really gonna give you guys any excuses because i know they go out the window anyway... so _**here's just some information you need to know!**_

 _ **VISIT MY PROFILE AND VOTE IN THE POLES! IT REALLY HELPS ME WHEN I KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS PREFER!**_

 _ **IM ON SUMMER VACATION SO I HOPE THAT I WILL BE ABLE TO UPDATE BETTER!**_

 _ **IF THERES ANYONE WHO'D LIKE ME TO WRITE THEM A FANFICTION COMMENT ON ONE OF MY STORIES OR PM ME!**_

 _ **I LOVE YOU ALL AND I HOPE TO "SEE" YOU MORE OFTEN!**_

 _ **peace out rainbow trouts!**_


	5. Chapter 5

"Hey guys... do you think there's something wrong with Levy?"

"Oi, wha' do ya' mean there's somethin' wrong with shrimp?"

"G-Gajeel! i didn't mean it like that... but she's... different..."

"Lucy, do you think its just your imagination?"

"Mira-"

"There's nothing wrong with me. I'm perfectly fine guys."

"Levy... are you sure there's nothing wrong? we're friends, you could always talk to us."

"Lucy, I said there's nothing wrong with me. _i'm_ _fine._ "

"If shrimp says she's fine then she's fine."

"G-Gajeel...Thank you."

I always lie. I'm not alright. I never was, but who am I to say so? i'm useless and I don't deserve anything. It was my first year in high school and being a transfer student I didn't have any friends. I was lonely, I hurt for no reason at all. All I thought about was that I just wanna go home. I don't belong here, I should just die. I never did it of course because i'm a weak fuck. so then I started writing things again in a little notebook my mom bought me for school. there was this girl in my second period. health class, she found the notebook and wanted to read it. of course I was scared as hell like what is she gonna think of me probably tell the teacher so she could tell my parents and they could get me help from a dumb ass psychologist. but she read it and told me I was like her. I told her thingsIi wouldn't tell other people. Not even my closest friends. Now we don't even talk to each other ironic isn't it? I only made two friends that semester.

The second semester I had a blast! I had tons of friends and a fucking awesome class, life was good for awhile. Then the demons came, like they always do right? I didn't let it show... I think... I faked the same smile in middle school and no one noticed or no one said anything. The pain was worse so I hurt worse then before. What was I supposed to do? I was a teenager with raging hormones and I didn't know what to do. I was scared, helpless, i didn't want to bother anyone I hated being a burden and to be honest I still do. That time was dark for me, hell it still is. Its on and off like a light switch, When you want it or you think you **need** it comes back but when the sun comes back out of the clouds you switch it off, then the dark night comes and you switch it on again. Its a useless and lifeless cycle. Sometimes I think 'do I have anything better to do with my life?' then there's 'No. There isn't. People keep calling me useless and yell at me and hate me. I really must be useless' Freshmen year had to be one of the worst cycle i ever went through.

Then summer came for that year. To be completely honest with you i dont even remember half of it. I just stayed at home all day everyday, don't get me wrong, of course I wanted to go out with me friends but I didn't want to bother them. I hate being a bother to people.

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 _ **YO! for those of you who actually read this, I honestly don't know how to feel about it. To be completely honest with you guys, and I know you guys suspected something, This is just a way to get my feelings out and i'm really sorry for those of you who thought this was an actual story...**_

 _ **If you guys want one i'll be happy to do one but if you want a GaLe i'm currently doing two one of them is completed I just need my editor to do her job (even though I don't pay her, she's my friend and loves Fairy Tail and can bother me everyday to update so she's happy to do it. Unless i'm forcing her... in that case oh well. X'D**_

 _ **If you guys want me to write a story for you i'll be happy to do that to. But i highly suggest reading my other ones. Though stear clear of the one that says Unexpected Guest because... it's super shitty. anyways... im really sorry again. ill do anything to make it up to you guys so review or PM me what you want me to do.**_

 _ **ALSO! PLEASE VISIT MY POLL! IT'S GOING TO BE UP UNTIL AUGUST 5TH! THANK YOU**_

 ** _Peace out rainbow trouts!_**


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